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  • You know you’re flying “no frills” when…

    • They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
    • All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
    • Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
    • You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
    • Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
    • The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
    • When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
    • The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
    • You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”
    • No movie. Don’t need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
    • You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
    • All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

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